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You Can (bleep) My (bleep)


That’s how the YouTube notification arrived to let me know someone had commented on one of my videos. It’s also the sound I imagined my eyes made when they exploded into the size of footballs once I read that message.

You guessed it—another uninvited, unwanted, and unnerving comment of a sexual nature. I wanted to hurt this jerk. But it seems he created a fake YouTube profile for the sole purpose of making anonymous comments. I see, so in addition to being a jerk, you’re also a coward.

The price for speaking up

Women are subjected to this kind of sex talk all the time. Frankly, I lost count long ago of how many (bleeps) I should (bleep). I’ve also lost my sense of humor about it and I’ve stopped brushing it off as “boys will be boys.” There really is no justification for this kind of behavior and I hope this guy rots in hell.

Why do men believe coercing women to perform sexual acts puts them into power?

This is the question that has been rattling around in my brain for far too long. What sick bastard could possibly find it arousing to force a woman to watch him masturbate? (Hey guys, in case you were wondering, we find it disgusting, gross, and demeaning.)

Why do men do this?

Let’s crack this topic wide open. Why do men believe getting women to perform sexual acts puts the man in power? Here are some theories:

  • Some men suffer from the “look at me!” syndrome and are narcissists who believe that everything they say or do is just astonishingly amazing. (Hint: Mostly the rest of the world feels mostly sorry for you and you are not amazing but annoying.)
  • There still exist “she made me do it” idiots who continue to live in the stone ages and have zero control over their own emotions or urges. (May I suggest Landmark education to start taking responsibility for yourself?)
  • Some people are just sick bastards who don’t see anything wrong with groping, touching, forcing women to kiss them, or even worse—raping or forcing oral sex. (If this describes you, feel free to check yourself into a 6×6 foot cell so you have ample time to think about why this is wrong on so many levels.)
  • And the simplest explanation of all… These men feel they are superior to women and that their sexual advances makes us feel good (they don’t) or put us firmly in our place as inferior. We are here for the pleasure of man and he can give it or take it away from us. Because when we are dominated, we live in fear and don’t dare to speak up. This type of jerk has been encouraged by our leadership to actually believe there is nothing wrong with this behavior. (Can you hear the sound of women everywhere collectively sighing in disgust?)

Please add your theories in the comments below! I’d love to hear them.

What women can do is simple

Stick together. Support each other. Speak up, speak out, and believe each other. Plus these 10 Demands Every Woman Should Make and Enforce.

As for me? I will fight to the nail against men who are trying to make decisions for women. The sooner we band together, the more powerful we will be. And that’s exactly what these men are most worried about.  And if you are one of the many, many good guys – will you PLEASE START TO SPEAK UP for us?

For the losers who are being called out now and are tumbling to the bottom of their careers in this avalanche of accusations why don’t we tell them all to just go (bleep) themselves? I can’t imagine anyone else would want to do it for them.

There, I feel better now 😉


At her lowest point, Beate Chelette was $135,000 in debt, a single mother, and forced to leave her home. Only 18 months later, she sold her image licensing business to Bill Gates in a multimillion dollar deal. Chelette is a nationally known ‘gender decoder’ who has appeared in over 60 radio shows, respected speaker, career coach, consummate creative entrepreneur, and author of Happy Woman Happy World. Beate is also the founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to women leadership and personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private, and digital worlds. Determined to build a community of women supporting each other, she took her life-changing formula documented it all in a book Brian Tracy calls “an amazing handbook for every woman who wants health, happiness, love and success!”

Through her corporate initiative “Why Acting Like a Girl Is Good For Business” she helps companies with gender diversification training, and to develop and retain women.

If you’d like to book Beate as a speaker on New Leadership Balance or Creative Entrepreneurship for your next event please connect with me.

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