I used the example of watching my daughter Gina grow to help me identify phases of my Mom ego-RHYTHM™. Using another example, I’ll show you how someone had many more than that.
Karen, a former colleague of mine who’s also a mother, had six ego-RHYTHMs™ on her list. She wrote in her journal about each of them and examined each. She realized that four of them were present but not very strong and ended up with two. One of which was Bad Luck and the other one Health. Karen recognized that she had been in a Bad Luck rhythm for last two-and-a-half to three years. Her conclusion was that the effects of that rhythm were wearing off and she was moving into a new rhythm which began to become more predominant. In her case, the new rhythm was Health.
Karen recognized, by exploring her current situation in great detail, that she was moving out of one rhythm into the next. She knows that she needs to be keep track of her health. With her new knowledge, she accepts what is going on and is already making changes in her lifestyle. As a result, she said she has to ensure that she focuses her time and energy on her health.
Some ego-RHYTHMs™ just happen to you, and you can influence and even attract others. With practice, you’ll be able to recognize something good in everything; even in something like Bad Luck or Tragedy. You need to have the right mindset to make it through each ego-RHYTHM™ with a positive focus.
Finding your own ego-RHYTHM™ might be simple for some of you. Others may need a little extra time to figure out where they are.
As part of my process, I asked members of a test group how they felt about identifying their current personal ego-RHYTHM™. The response was astonishing. The women said in unison that it was as if they’d been relieved of a burden.
Most felt as if a veil was lifted. Identifying your current ego-RHYTHM™ can help you see clearly where you are, giving you permission to be in that rhythm exclusively. It is a liberating concept. I will illustrate the power of giving yourself permission to focus on one main event versus everything else with more personal examples.
After my father passed away, I joined a bereavement group. I was astounded to learn that I had permission to grieve as long and as deeply as I wanted and needed.
I’m from Europe and I’ve noticed that in America there is not much allowance for grief, and society seems to have forgotten why the year after a loved one passes away is known as a “grieving year” in many cultures. A few weeks after the funeral, the bereaved are expected to move on. This was impossible for me. I was grieving very hard.
When I was granted permission to stay in that space as long as I wanted, I felt supported. I had not thought about my situation that way, and knowing that my grief was uniquely mine, and accepting that I could give myself permission to move through it at my own pace was very liberating.
Here’s another example: After I sold my business, I allowed myself a three-year transition period as I wanted to dabble in a variety of things for a change, and I didn’t want to be as focused as I usually am. Finding your own ego-RHYTHM™ is like that; you give yourself permission to be where you are for as long as you want or need to be. You will know when it is time to move on to the next.
Do you know yourself if it’s time for you to move on or not? Let me know – your experience of your own rhythms helps us all. Thanks so much for sharing.
Image by Michael Albany Photography
