Setting a Main Focus

“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” ~ Winston Churchill

The first time the ego-RHYTHM™ concept became clear to me was when my daughter Gina attended kindergarten. While I tried hard to be the perfect mom, I was guilt-stricken that I just couldn’t be there as much as I wanted. My main focus at that time was to ensure our survival and make money to support the two of us.

In the end, all that guilt was a non-issue and a complete waste of time. My inability to be there for her very second turned out to be a benefit, as she learned to be independent and responsible at a very early age.

I remember Gina’s first day of school. She carried her little backpack and lunch pail, and she was ready to go. Around us, were many children crying and pulling on their mom’s skirts, but not Gina. She looked at me very matter-of-fact, and said, “We’ve talked about this, I have to go with my teacher. I need to learn how to read and write.” And off she went, giving me a last reassuring wave.

Imagine my surprise! And how quickly that anxiety dissipated, something I’d carried with me constantly about never having been a stay-at-home mom.

Setting a main focus, in its simplest form, means that you know and accept (KARL™ again!) what the main event in your life is. Each main event requires your complete attention. You can do that with greater ease if you keep reminding yourself that that main focus keeps changing over time. That means all aspects of your life will get the attention they deserve – eventually.

When you have a main focus, it might seem that you’re giving something up but, ultimately, living this way is easier on you and those around you. Everything else is still there; it’s just not time for it yet.

I don’t want you to be as I was: constantly uptight, stressed and running from one thing to another doing 10 things at once. Eventually things worked out great for me but ONLY once I’d focused on one rhythm at a time and gave that one rhythm 100%.

The hardships of my life had shaped me to become the person I am now. I urge you to find a realistic balance of what you can and cannot do so that you can enjoy the process of living (KARL™ again!). Today I can say that I have reconnected with more friends and done more fun things in the last three years than I did in the 10 years prior to that. Use this concept and apply the method KARL™ to your advantage and have a little bit of fun – today! You are not in a mad race. Set your focus, assign the time, do what you have to do, and then take a breath. Slow down and savor your relationships and, if you have children, enjoy them!

Have there been times in your life when you stressed over something that you realized, after it was over, that you didn’t need to worry so much about? I’d love to know what they were and what you thought afterward. Tell me about them – your path is ours, together. Thank you for sharing.