Here’s one of my secrets that might help you learn to better accept yourself and your situation: Even during the worst times, I made a real effort to think of my glass as half full, and not as half empty.
For example, during the period when my father was dying, I reminded myself what a great time the two of us had when he was alive and healthy. I couldn’t help but think how lucky I had been. And I was lucky. Many people don’t have a father at all. Others have absent fathers, or a terrible relationship with their father.
While it might sound trite, it’s important to try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and think about healing and improvement. Make a conscious effort not to dwell on negative thoughts whenever you catch yourself thinking one. This is how you make positive changes in your life.
An often-overlooked yet pleasant side effect of acceptance is that it can help you keep in check emotions regarding your situation. Acceptance means understanding that a situation either is or is not. At first, it’s okay to get upset over something occurring in your life, and it’s okay now and then to have days when you throw yourself a pity party. When you fall into your personal black hole, allow your thoughts to exist, acknowledge them, thank them, don’t fight them – and know they will pass. Offer no resistance; let your thoughts go right through you and realize that tomorrow will be better. Don’t spend so much time attaching emotions to your issues. Tomorrow you may be able to see that “this too, shall pass.” — (Jewish proverb)
If, and when, you find that you’re beating yourself up over the perceived negatives in your life, make a real and conscious effort to remind yourself of the other side of the coin. For example if you say to yourself, “my hips are way too big,” you can refocus that negative thinking by forcing a positive follow-up thought, such as “my breasts are perfect,” “my hair is amazing,” or whatever emphasizes your positive qualities. This helps you counteract self-destructive behavior, and leaves you with a good thought that will attract a different type of energy.
Think of a time in your life, in the past or recently, where you’ve urged yourself to “get over it,” or told yourself that the situation was only temporary. Have you had such moments? How did you overcome them? Let me know – I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here!