During the holiday season, isn’t it true that while we look forward to spending time with family and friends (and some well-deserved downtime), many of us get overwhelmed? From shopping, to fretting over the right gift for the discerning connoisseur, to the spirited discussion of our family ghosts from the past—the holidays are stressful. How can you stay ridiculously positive during all of this?
False messaging sets wrong expectations
Emotion sells, which is why holiday music and movie storylines are so emotional. She gives him the car he always wanted while the young son looks adoringly at his father. (Sure, that’s a reality for most of us.) He gives her the diamond necklace and we shed a happy tear for them because he just appreciates her so much.
Our realities are different
The holidays are messy because we are messy. We eat too much, say the wrong things, unintentionally trigger someone else’s issue, and are often glad when it’s all over.
My Christmas wish for you
Instead of stressing for perfection, focus on how to remain ridiculously positive throughout the season. If you find this difficult, try faking it!
When the egg drops on the floor and the flour goes flying through the kitchen… laugh it off! When your favorite tea cup is knocked over and shatters… be grateful you were enjoying yourself at the time and that it didn’t break unceremoniously in the dishwasher. When Uncle Alfred says that sexist thing about women not being able to play soccer due to a shortness of the foot span (I swear that’s what he said)… it’s just so outrageous that you can’t help but giggle and promptly enroll your daughters into next year’s soccer program.
Whatever may come up for you—family messes, people who refuse to change, those who have changed too much (and for me, plenty of Daddy and Mommy issues)—remember to keep your focus not on them, but on you.
What can you do today to stay ridiculously positive?
Lock yourself in the bathroom for that 20-minute bath if needed (wear your headphones so you don’t hear them banging on the door), or grab your shoes and go for a walk or run, or head out for a cup of tea at the coffee shop. You can always take 20 minutes to get yourself back to center.
Take others for who they are and know in your heart that everybody does the best they can with what they’ve got.
Finally, I’d like to share my personal tip that helps me cope with the messiness of the season. Remember: of ten people who attend the same event, none will recall the exact same experience.
I keep reminding myself that my version of life experiences is mine alone.
Instead of disputing it and fighting for my viewpoint, I make the effort to just accept other people’s versions as their truths. When it gets touchy, this mindset helps me to keep emotional distance so I don’t get sucked into my ghosts of the past too often. It’s part of active listening.
Wishing you a great holiday season! Let me know how you stayed ridiculously positive. I’d love to know your strategies!
At her lowest point, Beate Chelette was $135,000 in debt, a single mother, and forced to leave her home. Only 18 months later, she sold her image licensing business to Bill Gates in a multimillion dollar deal. Chelette is a nationally known ‘gender decoder’ who has appeared in over 60 radio shows, respected speaker, career coach, consummate creative entrepreneur, and author of Happy Woman Happy World. Beate is also the founder of The Women’s Code, a unique guide to women leadership and personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private, and digital worlds. Determined to build a community of women supporting each other, she took her life-changing formula documented it all in a book Brian Tracy calls “an amazing handbook for every woman who wants health, happiness, love and success!”
Through her corporate initiative “Why Acting Like a Girl Is Good For Business” she helps companies with gender diversification training, and to develop and retain women.
If you’d like to book Beate as a speaker on New Leadership Balance or Creative Entrepreneurship for your next event please connect with me.